


Sex Dwarf

by Rebldomakr



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Jonathan buys a dirty mag with kids, Masturbation, Other, Sibling Incest, Tags to be added, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Lust, Will finds it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-07-16 13:16:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebldomakr/pseuds/Rebldomakr
Summary: It's a thin magazine.[Jonathan finds Doll sitting on its lonesome at the adult store. Innocent, seemingly just a homosexual sex magazine that sits on its own since it’s about men rather than women. He barely considers it, walks past it to find the latest issue of Playboy since he has a couple extra dollars and Nancy bought him the latest Hustler. He’s a simple teenage boy. He doesn’t crave too much. Out of curiosity alone, he walks back.]





	1. Sex Dwarf

**Author's Note:**

> unbetaed. don't expect much lmao. title comes from a soft cell song.

            Jonathan Byers is the freak of Hawkins High. He stalks around with his camera, vaguely artistic, talking to barely anyone at all unless he’s spoken to first. He gets good grades and his teachers like him, they all say he’d be popular if he could just open his mouth a little bit more. He wears hand-me-down clothes, saving up all his dollars not for brand names because if he’s going to get a brand name he wants it to be professional grade camera. He sets himself out to be different, which is why he’s such a freak, but he tells himself he doesn’t mind it. He has the few he talks to in quietness during class or in the library, the people who respect him and like him just have their own, bigger and louder group to be around. Sometimes he’s shouldered into lockers, though this has become more common since Billy Hargrove moved in, but he truly doesn’t mind it. He’s okay with being the freak of Hawkins High.

Because when he comes home, his little brother is there. Smiling wide and happy to share his account of the day. Will who seems to become more and more touch-starved every day, while his friends age with him and distance begins to grow. Mike’s with El and Lucas is with Max, Dustin is with Steve all the time now, too, and he feels left alone. If he tags along, Will explains, he feels like a third wheel, or someone hitched on pegs on the back of a two-person bike. Jonathan has Nancy, too, of course, but she isn’t Will.

He knows there must be something truly, absolutely freakish about him. He presses Nancy into bed, her belly flat to the mattress, so he can thumb down her back and pretend her womanly petite frame is the same as boyish lankiness. He mouths out his little brother’s name against her shoulder and she mistakes it for hers. When he’s allowed to slip into her ass, he can close his eyes and just feel and it truly is what he imagines being with Will could be like.

Don’t get him wrong, Jonathan loves Nancy. Her smile could light up his entire world. He has as many pictures of her, now, as he does of Will. He adores her more than he’s adored anyone else – except for Will. Because Will is his little brother. From Castle Byers to arcade games to the Upside Down, to yard sale browsing and thrift store shopping. He’s his mini-me dressed in his old t-shirts and cut-off jeans to make shorts that look too much like daisy dukes for Jonathan’s sanity to be secure during the summertime.  

Control is barely within Jonathan’s grasp most days. He finds himself staring too long, the will to touch absolutely inescapable. Hugs that last a second longer than they should, his hands resting too low than they should be, and pressing closer than he should be. He slides his hands across Will’s bare skin and connects the dots, before he has to excuse himself. Nancy thinks he’s just more active in the summer. He’s just seeing more of his little brother.

Jonathan distracts himself well most days. Manages along fine, with Nancy and _Hustler_ magazines stashed underneath his bed. Nancy doesn’t mind it if he stops by randomly and takes her out for dinner just so he can fuck her. His mom hasn’t found any of his magazines, either, and probably would never since now he does everyone’s laundry. It’s a lot easier to hide when no one knows how often you have to change your sheets.

Dirty magazines are helpful.

It’s normal, until it isn’t.

            Jonathan finds _Doll_ sitting on its lonesome at the adult store. Innocent, seemingly just about homosexual sex magazine that sits on its own since it’s about men rather than women. He barely considers it, walks past it to find the latest issue of _Playboy_ since he has a couple extra dollars and Nancy bought him the latest _Hustler_. He’s a simple teenage boy. He doesn’t crave too much. The adult store owner is a sixty-plus year old man who has been selling porn since before it was legal.

 _Doll_ is thinner than most of the magazines are. He picks it up because he’s bored, he has the time before he goes to pick up Will from the public pool. Probably shouldn’t be getting himself riled when he has to get his little brother, but maybe if he ‘clears the pipes’ it won’t be so bad to see his little brother walking on his own like the perfect victim.

He needs to stop envisioning Will as a victim. He’s enough of a freak, as it is. And Nancy’s not available today.

Jonathan flips it open, lands on a random page, and his breath cuts off. His heart stammers and almost stops. Belly rolling like he’s just seen Will run around the house in a pair of boxers.

The righthand side is just a long story, but when he scans it over, it’s electrifying. Words like ‘little’ and ‘smooth’ and ‘tight’ connect over with the pretty, thin boy on the left hand side that could be Will if he covered the head. A little too narrow of a waist, too much hair around his small dick, but it’s close.

He turns the page. No story this time, just a set of pictures of, now, a brunette. Legs spread, then on the boy is on his knees, then on his belly. The largest photo is the boy with his legs curled underneath himself, little dick laid soft and hanging. It’s about as long as Jonathan’s pinkie finger and maybe as thick as his thumb.

It’s not as similar as to Will, really. The pale skin is too flawless and his nose is too small. His hair is cut wrong, too. But it’s close. And it makes Jonathan snap the magazine shut.

He puts the _Playboy_ back.

* * *

          Will wanders into Jonathan’s room towards the latter half of summer, looking for a cassette tape that his brother asked him to grab. Hawkins is in a drought and it’s hotter than any summer before, so they’ve set up the living room. They are going to make Risk to waste away the day, with two fans directly on them and music playing off of the radio. Neither them want to listen to the radio, though, so Jonathan told him to go choose out what he wants from his own collection of music.

He goes underneath Jonathan’s bed to find his older cassettes, because he knows if he chooses one he likes out of those then he’ll be allowed to keep it. Will searches for the small cardboard box that originally contained new Tupperware, when he sees something that caught the light.

Curious, Will reaches out and grabs it with the box. He places the box to the side of himself and lays the magazine on his lap.

The cover is a little worn, indentations over it like it’s been shoved under heavy objects and tossed around in desperation for it not to be seen when someone walked in. A few scratches over it, the longest over the title; _Doll_. The cover is a lot blander than he’s used to seeing on magazines, just a picture of a man just about the age of Jonathan or Steve. Only without any hair at all and a wide smile, despite being completely naked sans a pair of red shorts.

He flips it open to the first page, wondering if it’s just like one of the weird photography magazines that Jonathan gets in the mail sometimes.

 _DO YOU HAVE ANY PICTURES YOU’RE WILLING TO SELL?_  
WE’LL TAKE THEM!  
$50 FOR ANY PHOTO OF BOYS 15+  
$150 FOR BOYS 11-14  
$300 FOR ANY BOYS YOUNGER THAN 10

Will frowns. Something uneasy is rolling around in his stomach, but he reads the advertisement below.

_EARN EXTRA CASH BY LETTING US TAKE THE PHOTOS!  
BRING IN YOUR OWN BOYS FOR CASH!_

He doesn’t know why Jonathan would want to have a magazine like this. Maybe he’s using it for the advertisements. Earning money by taking pictures of models? It riddles him, though, as to why they care about the age so much to specify it. Will flips past a few more pages until he’s come to one that’s all pictures, no words.

It’s a boy younger than him with his mouth open, drool running down his chin. The boy looks like he’s about ten. It makes Will’s entire body clench in disgust.

“Will?” Jonathan calls out.

Will freezes and snaps the magazine shut, jamming it quickly underneath the bed just in time for Jonathan walk inside.

“Sorry.” Will says. He plucks a random cassette out of the box and holds it up. “This one!”

Jonathan bends down and takes it. “Soft Cell?” He says. He seems hesitant, but he nods. “Alright. Let’s go. We’ve got a game to play.”

Will nods and stands, rushing past Jonathan, but glancing back. His brother leans down to push the box back into place and notices the magazine, resting too close and almost peaking up from underneath the bed. Will swallows the saliva in his mouth and quickly exits out into the hallway.

            The magazine doesn't escape Will's memory. He figures Jonathan must know he saw it, but his brother hasn't confronted him about it. He wonders if Jonathan is just ashamed of owning it. He knows why. Homosexuality isn't accepted, Will knows, and plus it's all boys that are underage. It makes Will think of that Illinois man who raped and killed boys before burying them down in his basement. He doesn't think his brother's like that, though. Jonathan would never hurt someone. At least, Will's pretty sure he wouldn't ever.

He finds himself watching his brother a lot, trying to figure out if maybe Jonathan is like that. Only, Jonathan doesn't seem bad. 

Jonathan goes to school. He goes on dates with Nancy. He hangs out after school sometimes for his photography stuff. He works and helps mom with the bills. It seems like he never leaves the house, unless to do one of those things. Or, to take Will someplace then to pick him up from there. But Will remembers the magazine. He remembers what people have said about the guys who like that type of stuff. It makes him wonder, if Jonathan's just pretending to be a good guy when he's secretly going around and doing all that horrible stuff.

School's about to start, when Will decides to sneak back into Jonathan's room. He thinks that if Jonathan has more stuff like that, then maybe he is a bad person. If it's only one magazine, maybe it really isn't so bad and just something he got a whim.

Will pushes open Jonathan's door carefully, slowly. Even though no one's home and it's not like he hasn't gone into Jonathan's room before. He feels like he's making himself seem even more suspicious. Though he is sneaking around, being nosy. His mom always told him to mind his business and be respectful of other people's boundaries. He thinks his mom would do the same, though, if she had found the magazine and not him.

He looks under the bed and the magazine isn't there. He wonders if Jonathan threw it out. Will decides to check the rest of Jonathan's room. He goes from the shelves, to boxes, into closet, and even looks underneath some stuff. He doesn't find the magazine, though he does find a couple of others. Photography, mostly, with about a dozen  _Playboy_ 's and a handful of  _Hustler_ 's and one magazine without a title that's full of women tied up and being hurt. He flips through the last one a little worriedly, but he figures since it's girls, it's probably okay. He puts it back where he found it and decides Jonathan isn't bad at all.

Jonathan isn't like Gacy or one of those weird guys. His brother was probably just curious, that's why he had the magazine.

Comforted by the thought, Will gives up the search and decides to make himself a bowl of cereal.

            Will forgets about the magazine, then. Occupies himself with school and tries to hang out with his friends more, but they all become even busier. Lucas joins baseball and Max enters softball, while Dustin tries out for basketball and actually makes the cut for the freshmen team. Mike is sour, mostly, and antisocial, but he's always with El, now. Will finds himself alone except for maybe a day on the weekend, when there's no after school activities and his friends collect together to do something. His friends are making other friends, new ones, and Will- cant.

He's just grateful that all the students share the same lunch, so he gets to sit with Jonathan and Nancy when his friends decide to sit with their own, new groups of friends. Nancy helps him with his homework and she buys him an extra pudding cup, or even ice cream if he asks. It's a lot better than being alone. Or being drowned out by his friends and his friends' friends.

It's the day before Halloween when Will's sitting on Jonathan's bed, while his brother goes through his older pictures. He's going to pick out his favorites and send them in as a portfolio with his application. He asks Will's opinion, occasionally, but mostly Will's just listening to David Bowie play at a lower volume from his brother's stereo.

He leans back and rests his head on Jonathan's pillow, sighing. Looking up at the white ceiling.

"Can I get your room when you move out?" He asks. "It's bigger than mine."

"I'll be back for the holidays." Jonathan says like he's annoyed, but Will knows his brother well enough to know that he's smiling. So Will smiles, too.

"Then I can stay in it! Like a motel." Will declares and stretches his arms upwards, wriggling his fingers.

Something catches his sight, in the corner of his vision. He turns his head and he sees the corner of a magazine sticking out from underneath the pillow.

Will suddenly remembers  _Doll_. He knows he should respect his brother's privacy, knows the one under the pillow is probably just something normal, but he reaches for it anyways. He sits up as he slides it out.

Jonathan speaks. "Will." 

The magazine isn't the same as Will had found underneath the bed before, but it's got a boy on the cover and  _Doll_ written across the bottom in bold, light blue letters over a white background.

"You have another one." Will says. His stomach clenches. He looks at his brother.

"I can explain." Jonathan says weakly. "Listen, Will, you can't tell mom-"

"Are you like that Gacy guy?" Will asks, nibbling over his lip.

"What? No!" Jonathan yelps, looking horrified. "I- I just found it, okay? I'm not into kids like that!" His voices gets louder before he crushes it down, practically whispering out, "Will, please, just ignore it."

Will shakes his head. "It isn't right." He says. "Can, can you just tell me why?" He asks.

Jonathan sets down a folder and looks down at his feet. "I don't want to." He says, his hand moving to rest on the bed and clenching the comforter in his fist. "I, I just, I don't like kids like that. Okay, Will? I'm not a weirdo, not like that." He begins. "It's not, it's not like that. It's," He swallows. "It's someone I like."

"You like a boy?" Will asks. "I thought you loved Nancy." He sounds accusatory, but he can't help it. He doesn't understand and this all gives him a bad feeling in his gut. 

"I do love Nancy." Jonathan says, sighing. He looks ready to crumble and it makes Will feel bad.

Maybe he should just give it up. Jonathan's his brother. Will shouldn't worry. He knows his brother is a good person.

He pushes the magazine back underneath the pillow. "Okay." He says softly.

"Yeah?" Jonathan asks.

Will nods and pulls his knees up to his chest. "Just, um, you know how you always tell me I can always talk to you? Well, you can always talk to me, too." He says.

Jonathan smiles. "Yeah. Okay." He says.


	2. Baby Doll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh. totally unbetaed. expect mistakes at this point.

               Joyce brings home three boxes of Popsicles in November. Her boss accidentally ordered them and they are on discount. It’s a sugary addition to their typical supply of dill pickles and plain potato chips that manage to taste bland while the bottom of the bag is lined with salt. Even though Indiana is growing colder and it’s a lot harder to enjoy them when their furnace barely warms their small home, Jonathan frequently sees Will with one for about half of the month. Thanks to him, there’ll be enough room in the freezer to stuff store-bought pies that will be warmed up on Thanksgiving Day.

Will is sitting on the couch watching a tasteless slasher flick, one that obviously disgusts him and scares him on some level, yet he continues to watch. He’s got a banana flavored Popsicle jammed between his lips, bobbing his head on in a way that he has to know is indecent and occasionally stopping to swirl his tongue across the side or the tip. Jonathan can’t imagine anyone doing that on accident, not even his sweet baby brother.

Reddened lips pucker and for a brief flash, Jonathan swears the neon yellow is flesh colored. It’s almost too bad that it’s wintertime. Maybe if it was hotter, he’d get drops running down Will’s chin and making his fingers sticky. He’d get to see Will licking his lips, giving more scenes of his soft pink tongue, and Will sloppily sucking on every digit. But he doesn’t. Will just suckles and suckles, it seems endless. How the Popsicle hasn’t finished yet is beyond Jonathan’s understanding of the universe.

“Hey, Jonathan?” Will calls out.

Jonathan’s almost too busy wishing the Popsicle was back in Will’s mouth. “Yeah?” He asks, turning his head to pay more attention to the water he’s boiling for macaroni.

Oh. It’s boiling. He picks up the box and pours in the noodles while Will answers, “I’m hungry.”

“It’ll only be a few more minutes.” Jonathan says. “You want hot dogs in it?”

“Yeah.” Will says. He probably goes back to sucking on the Popsicle right then, but Jonathan has to stir before he can look back. His mouth is puckered and half of the yellow sugar stick that’ll be Jonathan’s wet dream for the night is hanging out.

Jonathan swallows nothing and forces himself to look away, heart pounding and temples dampening with sweat that isn’t caused by the cloud of steam rising up from the pot and smacking him in the face.

It’s been a short while since Will’s made it clear that he knows that Jonathan’s a freak. He doesn’t seem to mind. He doesn’t talk about it. He doesn’t even comment if he happens to across an issue of _Doll_ , because Jonathan always forgets to place it back into the hiding spot after he uses it, and instead just slides it back to wherever he’s found it. He clearly thinks Jonathan’s gay, though, and asks him sometimes if he thinks someone’s attractive.

Nothing is more panic inducing than when your little brother asks if you think Billy Hargrove is cute.

There’s times like these, though, that makes Jonathan wonder if Will knows why he hoards the magazines, can tell which pages – always the brunettes – he’s on the most. When Will is indecent and lewd that can’t possibly just be Jonathan’s imagination. Like something out of a _Playboy_ that Will’s trying desperately to copy.

Will sucking on the Popsicle messily like he’s trying to figure out how to give a blowjob is a lot different than him running around his cut up jeans that was cut up in that way so he could stay cool.

Jonathan endures. He fears, he stresses and worries, sometimes even comes close to tears, but it’s still Will every night when he’s got his hand around his dick. He’s lucky Nancy doesn’t question it when he hides his face or closes his eyes. She thinks he’s just submissive, sweet. She’s probably the only reason that Jonathan has even a hint of normalcy.

               Jonathan’s been putting in too much money into magazines. He gets every new issue of _Doll_ and occasionally plucks a magazine that contains bound women, even though they also contain leathered hairy men. He wishes he could find a way to merge the bound women with the boys from _Doll_. At least he can still look at the more petite women and imagine Will, or at least get close enough that the image becomes stuck in mind and he can ride it straight to orgasm.

Masturbation is too frequent. He packs lunch instead of buying it now, tells Nancy things are just a little tight and doesn’t mention it’s because he spends more of his money on porn now. He contemplates picking up a paper route again, even though he stopped once he could drive, but he decides he simply doesn’t have the time to maintain his classwork at an A average and adequacy at his job while also tending to his little brother’s need to be driven around.

He gets semen on his steering wheel and he decides he needs to start controlling himself more.

               There’s a new issue of _Doll_ on the seventh of every month, as it’s released on the end of the previous month. Jonathan has to request especially for him after two copies because it isn’t selling well. It feels strange handing over an extra three dollars, but he doesn’t mind it so much because it’s as though the magazine is designed specifically for him. Every month, more and more brunettes. His favorite, the one with the moles and freckles that he could squint and truly see Will, stops appearing in the September issue.

There’s no issue for November. He’s told the magazine’s been shut down and the founder was arrested. Jonathan takes his ten dollar bill and turns it into quarters, hands them over to Will as a Christmas gift with a brand new mixtape. He loses money on the transaction, but it’s worth it to see Will’s face light up. He agrees to go with Will to the arcade, since Wil’s friends are all too busy over winter break to go with him.

It takes barely an hour to go through ten dollars and only one question for Jonathan to take a portion of his Christmas money then transform it into another hour and a half. He takes Will to a diner afterwards, where Will stuffs his face with a burger that’s about half the size of his head. The day feels like a date and has Jonathan’s stomach rolling with the need to please more than any day with Nancy has ever managed. The night outshines the day, because Will curls up almost on his lap while they watch Star Trek reruns and eat leftovers until their stomachs are so full all they do is sleep.

Jonathan wakes up at midnight. His baby brother’s practically his lap. Will’s cheeks a little flushed, he’s sweating just enough for it to be noticeable. So is Jonathan’s. He realizes there’s a small heater pointed at them and there’s a blanket thrown over them, too. Mom must have come home and worried about them being cold on the couch. He smiles and wraps his arms tighter around Will’s small, so-fragile-seeming body.

As terrible as it probably is, Jonathan hopes Will never reconnects with friends.

               Only, Will does reconnect. It’s almost devastating to have to go on more frequent dates with Nancy. They send out their college applications together, finish their scholarship and financial aid forms, discuss college dormitories. They both want to head out into different directions; Nancy doesn’t truly know what she wants to do yet, while Jonathan used his five application fee waivers plus all the savings he’d been able to palm together to seek placement at three over a half-dozen schools. He applies to New York and even California, but he wonders if he’d ever be capable of moving far away from his little brother.

Hopper takes the Byers’ family out for dinner. Eleven (Jane?) sits next to Will and eats the small side of mixed vegetables with a pout. Jonathan watches his little brother’s lips close around a spoonful of chicken broth and noodles. Almost spills his soda on his soda. It just lands on the table in a few droplets that he cleans up. He wonders if Eleven can hear his thoughts, wonders if she can understand them, and hopes she doesn’t because it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore Will.

He and Will choose a song from the juke box. Jonathan grasps both of Will’s hands to dance, and realizes that the hands that could barely fit in his own palms have grown. Too big for Will’s small body. It makes him think of puppy paws and he suddenly fears Will growing up, losing him to time and to other people. Focusing on it, right now in the moment, is useless though. He’s able to enjoy Will.

Jonathan laughs and twirls his little brother around. Gets to place his hands on Will’s shoulder to lift him up. It doesn’t stick out when Eleven has Hopper do the same with her.

He wonders if Hopper feels the same about Eleven as he does with Will, wonders if his mom is the chief’s Nancy, but he doubts it when Hopper presses himself flush to his mother’s side.

               The store owner is giving Jonathan his change when he comments, “I think I can get you something like that freak magazine.” And it makes Jonathan pause. He eyes up the old man and wonders if he should. He spends so much time away from Will nowadays, with his baby brother hanging around his friends again and choosing to be active in an art club. A new magazine would be nice, helpful in maybe obtaining some fresh restraint.

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“A bunch of barely legal guys.” The owner elaborates. “Isn’t that your thing?” His face turns into a dirty leer. “Or do you like them younger?” It cracks into a grin. It lets Jonathan know the man is just teasing him, not attacking.

“I’ll just continue with ones like these.” Jonathan holds up _Playboy_.

“Hope it gets your rocks off, or I’m failing my job.” The owner says. “If you wanted the young girls, it’d be a lot easier.”

Jonathan shrugs and pockets his change. The man slips the magazine into a plain brown paper bag, folding over the top. As he grabs the bag, the door opens. He doesn’t think very much of it until he’s turning around and he’s looking straight into the face of Chief Hopper.

“Uh, hi.” Jonathan greets.

Hopper stares at him. “Go home.” He says.

The man laughs loud. “Here for another routine check to make the mayor happy?”

Jonathan doesn’t hear Hopper’s response, because he’s quickly running out of the store.

               Jonathan dumps the _Playboy_ with the rest of the collection he’s grown. He hardly touches them anymore, but it feels like a ritual to buy a magazine every month now. He tries not to think about Hopper, hoping that the police chief is kind enough not to mention where he saw him today to his mom. It feels freakish enough to masturbate about his brother and knowing his brother knows, but if his mom searches through his room and finds his _Doll_ issues – being a freak won’t excuse the consequences.

He climbs into his bed and reminds himself to watch the clock. At 8:30, he’ll go to pick up Will from the Wheeler’s. He should probably make something so Will can just warm it up and go to bed, he has school tomorrow. There’s an Art Club meeting until 5:00 then and Jonathan knows Will should get a good night’s rest to be prepared for the longer day, because he’ll have homework after club. He wonders if Joyce frets as much as he does, about Will eating and sleeping. He hopes not. He hopes she knows he has everything handled.

Mom deserves that.

Jonathan grabs his extra pillow and stuffs his hand into the pillow case. He pulls out a plastic bag. Sets it on his lap and undoes the tight knot. He’ll have to get a new bag soon, it’s wearing thing at the handles. He chooses from issue out of the magazines inside, plucking out the September issue of _Doll_. He exchanges it for the August, searching for his favorite.

The brunette. Jonathan finds his favorite quickly and lays the magazine out in front of him.

Will is too sweet to pose like the brunette is. Grasping his own ass and spreading it to show off a well-used hole. No, Will is pure. A virgin. He’s tight and puckered. So he ignores that shot and goes to the one where he’s laid flat on his back, smooth skin dotted occasionally. The butt is, truly, too plump to make with Will’s though.

He closes his eyes and palms himself over the crotch of his jeans. He opens his eyes and gets a fresh view, unbuttoning as quickly as he can manage with a single hand.

Jonathan turns the page.

Not his favorite. A blond. Thinner, though the skin seems too flawless. Jonathan pulls his dick out from his boxers and wraps two fingers around the base. A careful, teasing touch while he fills out. He imagines Will would look so much better than the blond and the brunette, better than any boy in any issue of this magazine.

Summertime Will walking around in the cut-off jeans with threads laid down from his thighs flash. Will pushing a Popsicle into his mouth, the blunt tip probably pushing against the back of his mouth and tempting its way into his throat. Only Will doesn’t test his gag reflex and he always pulls it out.

Jonathan imagines Will drooling over his dick stuck down, **down** his throat. He wonders if Will would want his cum on the outside or inside.

Two fingers become his full fist wrapped too-tight. He’s never learned the right method to this, not yet, too occupied with the beating aspect to get off as soon as possible. When he drags up though, he rubs his thumb over his slit and imagines holding Will’s head in place so his little tongue can dart out and lap away his precum.

He holds back a groan and forces himself to focus on a boy in the magazine, sloppily flipping the pages with his free hand. He pants, the heat of his breathing smoothing down his head to his chest and making the skin dampen there like he’s sweating, and settles on a page where a fourteen year old boy lays out on a couch with two fingers jammed into his butt. His face is clenched up as though he’s in pain.

Air catches in his throat and he orgasms, semen spilling over his fist. His body trembles and he clenches his eyes so tight it almost hurts. Altogether, he barely lasted five minutes. And it takes longer than the event to clean up.

               It’s Valentine’s Day when Nancy cancels their date. She has to babysit for her parents. Jonathan doesn’t mind. He won’t miss fumbling through sex. Lately, it feels harder and harder to ignore his brother’s existence in the back of his head. He can’t seem to be able to enjoy her body anymore, even though he enjoys everything else about her. She hasn’t seemed to notice, yet. Valentine’s Day could have ended up being terrible, but now Jonathan gets to spend it with Will.

The holiday falls on a school day, but everyone is still out having their typical celebration. Even mom goes out on a date with Hopper. Will asks if they can rent a movie together. Jonathan agrees. It’s what he would have done if Nancy hadn’t canceled. He wonders if Will would like to sit on his lap and grind down on him, like Nancy would.

Will picks out something from the horror aisle at the video store and rocks on his feet while they go through the line, amid couples holding their own movies as though they would actually finish watching them. One guy has his hand over his girlfriend’s butt even as he hands the clerk the cash. Jonathan thinks about what Will’s would feel like, but he only wraps his arm around his brother’s shoulder and tugs him into a half-hug.

“Let me go!” Will whines and Jonathan laughs.

Back home, Jonathan makes popcorn while Will puts in the movie. There’s candy in the living room, too, the overpriced kind from the video store that he bought because he can never refuse Will’s puppy eyes.

He joins his brother in the living room with a large plastic bowl and sits down. Will happily jumps onto the crowd with a candy bar in hand, sliding in close to Jonathan and grabbing at the comforter he’d dragged out of his room. Jonathan doesn’t hesitate to place his arm over Will’s shoulders.

The movie is bland, but Will seems to be into it. Jonathan spends the duration of it watching his brother’s facial expressions.

It’s about halfway through the movie when a boy pushes a girl down onto the mattress in their cabin. Will’s cheeks become flushed and his pupils slowly dilate. It brings back memories, when it was as easy for Jonathan to be aroused by a short, inexplicit scene in a movie. He wonders if it’s just part of growing up. He holds Will tighter to himself.

Will’s body shakes for a brief second as Jonathan squeezes it closer.

Jonathan grins. “You getting scared?” He asks.

“No!” Will yelps. His voice even cracks halfway through the denial and Jonathan can’t help but begin to laugh.

Will shoves away from him. “Shut up, Jonathan! God!” He yells, face flushing and tugging the comforter away with him. It pools around him, covering his lap.

Jonathan wonders if Will’s dick is hard and he’s trying to hide it. He imagines Will can’t be too big yet, but growing. The wonders of puberty. The last time Jonathan’s seen Will naked was too longer ago. He might have begun to have hair.

“I wasn’t trying to tease you.” Jonathan says. He makes his shoulders relax and his smile become softer.

“Let’s just watch the movie.” Will says and turns his head to the television again. Jonathan reaches up and taps Will’s cheek until his brother’s head turns back towards him.

Will’s lips are thin and dark pink, boyish but vaguely like Nancy’s. Lips aren’t gender specific. He bets just clear gloss would make them seem feminine.

It’s like Jonathan has no actual control of his body. His hand slips into the back of Will’s head, grasping his hair tight while his head gets closer and closer. Will says something – “Jonathan?” – but it goes ignored even as Jonathan washes his breath over Will’s mouth.

Will’s body moves and Jonathan lunges forward, somehow managing not to slam his teeth into Will’s. It’s a soft kiss, really, and it lasts only a second before Jonathan’s pulling away.  He examines at his brother’s face.

Will looks horrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end is...shitty. I recognize this. I refuse to fix it lmao


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbetaed!!!!

               “Mr. Byers,” Chief Hopper begins like he hasn’t sat across from Jonathan to eat dinner, like they haven’t worked together to take down creatures from another world. “Do you understand the allegations that are being made out against you?”

“I didn’t do it.” Jonathan says, clenching his jaw.

“Do you understand the allegations made against you?” Hopper asks again.

“I know what you guys think I did.” Jonathan says. “But I didn’t fucking do it. I shouldn’t fucking be here. You shouldn’t be wasting your time on me, when my little brother is missing!” His mom’s alone, thinking God knows what, without either of her sons.

With no one.

“A witness claims to have seen you walking your little brother home after you car broke down last week. That was the last time they saw him.” Hopper says. “What happened to your car?”

“The transmission gave out.” Jonathan says. “It’s in the shop right now, getting fixed.”

Hopper nods. He probably already knew that. It’s a small town, moment a handful of shit smacks into the fan, everyone knows something about how and why and where and who behind the shit being thrown in the first place.

“The last time you saw your little brother is after you helped him into bed, correct?” Hopper asks.

“I gave him dinner and he went to bed.” Jonathan says.

“Well, I remember you telling me you helped him into bed.” Hopper says.

Jonathan shakes his head, “I didn’t help him, not really. I gave him dinner, I helped him change into his pajamas after a bath, and I tucked him into bed.” He says.

“That sounds like helping.” Hopper pulls off the top of a brown box that he sat down on the steel table when he came into the interrogation room earlier. “He’s a little old, to get help like that, isn’t he? Most kids can do all of that on their own by the time they turn ten.”

“He could.” Jonathan says. “And it’s not really helping. It’s just company.”

“Company.” Hopper mimics, but the way it slips out of mouth sounds like he’s saying something revolting. He sticks his arm into the box and pulls out an aged magazine. He lets it drop to the table. “Do you mean, company like this?” He questions.

Jonathan pales. “I didn’t hurt Will.”

“A witness says they see you walking your little brother home and the next day, he’s nowhere to be found.” Hopper says. “Out of typical procedure, we do a routine search of your home. We check your mother’s room, your little brother’s room, and your own. Joyce’s room is fine. Will’s room doesn’t look like it’s even been slept in, his bed is made-“

“He never makes his own bed!” Jonathan cuts him off. “Someone took him!”

“His bed is made.” Hopper says. “And when we check your room, we find this.” He gestures to the magazine. “A continued search, we find even more issues of the same type of magazine. We find albums of photos of your little brother.”

“We’re family.” Jonathan says. “I’m going to have photos of him!”

“Photos of people who don’t seem to realize that they’re being photographed.” Hopper adds. “And, this-“ He taps the magazine again. “This magazine is all I need to know, Mr. Byers.”

“I didn’t hurt Will.” Jonathan continues to insist.

Hopper stares at Jonathan blankly. “I want to believe that.” He says and it’s practically a whisper. He sighs and picks up the magazine. As he drops it back inside of the box, he asks, “Have you ever touched your little brother in a sexual way?”

“Only a fucking sicko would touch their brother like that.” Jonathan says.

“Have you ever touched your little brother in a sexual way?” Hopper asks again.

“No.” Jonathan lies right through his teeth.

_Will’s mattress creaks a lot louder than_  
Jonathan’s does, but mom’s away at work  
and Will says he’d feel better if they could  
do it in his bedroom this time. It’s fine to  
fuck there when mom isn’t home. It’s safe.

Hopper sighs. “I’m sorry Jonathan, but you are our main suspect-“

“I’m your only fucking suspect!” Jonathan yells. “Do you damn job and find my little brother!”

“Will we?” Hopper asks.

               Jonathan sits on the aluminum chair for an hour when Hopper leaves him. He’s already been at the station for two hours before that. When the door swings open, he doesn’t even perk up. Not even when he sees a man - dressed up in a cheap black suit like he’s going to attend an funeral - he’s never seen before walking ahead of Hopper.

“Hello Jonathan.” The man greets, smiling. “May I call you Jonathan?”

“No.” Jonathan replies flatly.

The man laughs. “Okay. I’m Jeremy Emerson.” He says. “I work with an law enforcement agency outside of Hawkins. Jim here called me in for some help. This case involving your little brother is a little above what they normally deal with.”

“Right.” Jonathan says. He’s sour enough and this man must think he’s plain stupid. “Chief Hopper already asked me everything and I’ve told the truth.”

Jeremy Emerson smiles and hums. “Jonathan, or, wait, I’m sorry. Mr. Byers.” He corrects himself, chuckling. “We found Will.”

“Did he fucking tell you that I’m not guilty?” Jonathan snaps. “Because I’ve been fucking telling you-“

“Mr. Byers, you don’t seem to understand.” Emerson says. “We found Will. I never claimed that Will was found alive.”

In just under twenty words, it feels like Jonathan’s entire life has fallen apart.

“Will’s dead?” He whispers.

“He is.” Emerson says, looking at him. “We found semen in his body, Mr. Byers. An autopsy has shown that he suffered from extreme internal damage. He was sodomized repeatedly before death, reportedly from a combination of head trauma and blood loss.”

Jonathan shakes his head. “He’s not dead.” He says. “Check his body again. It’s got to be a fake-“

“It’s not fake.” Emerson says. “Mr. Byers, you are under arrest.”

“I didn’t kill him! I’d never do that!” Jonathan shrieks. He begins to stand and suddenly Hopper is right in front of him, placing hands on his shoulders and forcing him to sit back down.

“Jonathan, calm down.” Hopper says.

Emerson continues, “It’s such a shame. We’re going to have to have a closed casket-“

“Fuck you!” Jonathan snarls. “You’re fucking lying, aren’t you? Will isn’t dead! Check the body, check the damn body!”

“Your mother is, understandably, destroyed. Poor woman.” Emerson says and he tuts. “All alone now, isn’t she? Divorcee with one kid dead, the other in prison.”

Jonathan goes to lunge for the man and it’s only Hopper that keeps him down. “Fuck you!” Jonathan yells again. “Will’s not dead! He’s not dead! He’s not! Check the body! Check it!”

“Stop!” Hopper hisses and forces Jonathan right back down – Jonathan hadn’t even realized he’d nearly been standing again – and looks over his shoulder. “Stop it, now!”

Emerson stands up and runs his fingers down his jacket. “I’ll excuse myself.” He says.

When the door slams shut behind him, Hopper hisses down at Jonathan, “Don’t fight, boy! He was lying. Will isn’t dead.”

Jonathan calms. His eyes sting, a little, and he stares up at Hopper, he feels like he’s going to break down in sobs. “He’s not?” He asks. “Is- did you find him?”

“No.” Hopper admits quietly. “He just wanted a reaction out of you. Supposed to show something about you. Help us know if you’re guilty or not.”

“That’s so,” Jonathan breathes out and he stutters, “So, so fucked up.”

Hopper sighs and nods.

               Jonathan is released at 8:47 o’clock at night. Chief Hopper tells him that they won’t charge him for possession of child pornography, otherwise they’d have to charge half the men in town. Jonathan feels like he’s only being let go of that charge because Hopper likes his mom. When he asks about his little brother and if they know anything, at all, Hopper tells him, “It’s a human horror story, Jonathan. Be safe.”

His mom greets him with a tight hug and wet sobs. He’s surprised she has anything left to put into her tears. When they get home, he makes them dinner and makes her go to bed.

Jonathan doesn’t go back to school until after the weekend passes. He stands in the doorway of his little brother’s room for an hour before he goes to make himself breakfast. Hopper is in the kitchen drinking his mom’s coffee.

“News?” Jonathan asks. Like he’s been asking every time he sees Hopper.

Hopper looks at him like he knows Jonathan is guilty of at least three different crimes, but like he’s too tired and too pitying to do anything about them. His mom jumps to the chase before Hopper can even open his mouth to respond.

“They found his jacket!” Joyce says so eagerly that she’s almost shouting. “Hopper says-“

“Joyce.” Hopper sighs. “Please.”

She falters. “Hop-“

“Someone found his jacket in a diner yesterday and we got a call in that they saw Will getting into someone’s car.” Hopper says. “But, you have to understand the implications of that, Joyce.”

“I’d rather have him had run away than be kidnapped!” She snaps.

Jonathan’s mouth dries. “You think he ran away?” He asks. “Why would he run away-?”

“I asked around. I’ve got multiple reports, now, that Will was eating at a diner with a man.” Hopper says.

_“Please, be gentler, Jonathan, I’m torn up.” Will says,_  
sniffing up clear mucus trying to drip out of his nostril.  
His cheeks are flushed and Jonathan thinks he might  
explode if he looks at his little brother’s face for too long.

_Jonathan does frown, though. He’s never so rough that_  
his brother tears up—um, down there. His fingers brush   
around the rim of Will’s asshole and he tilts his head to   
the side. “How’d that happen?” He asks. “You need to   
tell me when I’m being too rough, Will.” He sighs, guilty.

Joyce is trembling. “You said-“

“He’s there willingly.” Hopper says firmly. “Agent Emerson has even left town already. In all the reports we have, Will was fine. He even put money in the jukebox to play a song.”

“I can’t believe he’s ran away.” Jonathan says.

“We can still get him home, right?” Joyce presses. “He needs to be home, Hopper. He’s just a kid.”

“Kids don’t become runaways without a reason.” Hopper says. He glances at Jonathan. “Trauma.” He says simply. “It’s always something.”

“Are you accusing us of something?” Jonathan asks.

“Am I?” Hopper asks tiredly.

Jonathan glares.

“Hopper, please,” Joyce begs. “I just want my son back.”

Hopper looks away from Jonathan. He reaches forward and places his hand on her shoulder. Warm, protective, grounding, too husband-ish for Jonathan to be really comfortable with right now. “I’ll do my best. I have some contacts out of county. Emerson left me a couple numbers to call.” And, then, he repeats, “I’ll do my best, okay?”

               Billy Hargrove punches Jonathan Byers square in the nose on a Tuesday afternoon. His fist slams hard enough forward that he has to shake his hand off as Jonathan flies onto the floor. Three different goons rush forward and begin to pull Billy back before he can move in for the kill, tugging him back and telling him that Jonathan’s not worth an expulsion.

He’s hanging on thin fucking ice, according to the principal, according to rumor. One more fight with a kid that has to go to the hospital, he’ll be kicked out of the school, no matter what his lawyer daddy wants to say.

“I know you fucked your brother, Byers!” Billy shouts. “I saw it! I know it’s your fucking fault that he’s gone! I know you killed him!”

Nancy’s helping Jonathan stand back up and she shouts right back, “Shut up! Jesus Billy, even for you, that’s sick!”

“Is it?” Billy laughs hysterically. He shakes off the hands of his goons, too shell shocked to actually do anything now.

_Hopper is hugging Joyce to his chest while she_  
sobs so wet into his chest that she’s probably   
smearing tears and mucus across his uniform. 

_“What happened?” Jonathan asks and Hopper_  
looks at him like Jonathan’s guilty of a dozen  
crimes he’s too tired to try to charge him on.

_Like Hopper can’t bear to take away another  
son of Joyce Byers._

While Jonathan yells, “Will isn’t dead!”

Billy storms forward and shoves Nancy right out of his way when she tries to get between. He grasps the front of Jonathan’s t-shirt and nearly lifts his entire body back off of the floor. “They found him this morning.” He hisses. Spit lands on Jonathan’s cheek. “He’s fucking dead.” He slams Jonathan down. “I’m going to fucking kill you. You’re a sick fucking fuck.”

“Boys!” A teacher’s voice roars down the hallway and Billy’s pulling away.

The last thing Jonathan sees before Nancy’s in front of him is Billy flipping him off.

“Doesn’t make any sense. Hopper told us yesterday, said Will’s fine, said Will just ran away.” Jonathan tells her.

Nancy hushes him. She wraps her arms around Jonathan. “I’m so sorry.” She whispers. “I thought you heard.”

Makes Jonathan think about her face when he picked up that morning for school. He feels like his chest is going to implode.

“It doesn’t make any sense.” He says. Shaking his head. “Hopper told me and mom. Will’s fine. He’s just a runaway, Nancy.”

_“We’ve got multiple witness reports of Will_  
being with a man at a diner just outside of  
town. They said he was fine, he put money   
in the jukebox.” Hopper says quietly. He   
turns his mug of coffee around and around  
on the table before he continues, “We know  
the license plate. We’re doing a search right  
now. We’ll find him, Joyce, I promise.” He   
smiles at her and ignores Jonathan so   
pointedly that it almost hurts, if the pain  
of not knowing where his little brother is   
didn’t hurt so much fucking more.

She looks at him sadly.

The teacher, Ms. Sweet, interrupts them. “You two, follow me to the principal’s office.” She orders.

* * *

Jonathan’s in the same interrogation room two days later sitting across from FBI agent, Jeremy Emerson, who doesn’t bother to talk to him as he flips open a manila folder. Like out of one of the late-night crime shows, Emerson pulls out glossy picture after picture, laying them out in front of Jonathan to see.

“Will Byers’ body was found in a compromising position, to say the least.” Emerson states simply. “I find it funny.”

“My brother being dead isn’t funny.” Jonathan says.

“Oh, no.” Emerson says. “This boy’s death is a tragedy. I work with these tragedies to make sure the men behind them get locked away for a very long time. Look at the photos and tell me what you see.”

Four photos laying side by side are all of Jonathan’s little brother, in different angles.

The first photo is Will laid out like an angel. He has a halo of leaves and dried dirt seems to have been brushed off of his skin, made to look porcelain rather than the plain fair that Will normally is. His clothes are gone, but Jonathan sees them in a pile discarded to the side in the second photo. And in the third and fourth, taken more from above, Jonathan can see how far Will’s legs are spread and the faded letters written across Will’s right inner thigh.

Jonathan shifts in his seat. “Why are you showing me these?” He asks.

“Son, I know it was you.” Emerson says. “Your pornographic magazines. Your photo albums. I know the story.”

“You don’t know shit.” Jonathan hisses.

“I know you loved your brother.” Emerson says.

_“You’re so beautiful.” Jonathan whispers._

_Will smiles, a little hesitant. “Thanks.”_

“I know you were obsessed with your brother.” Emerson adds.

_Will doesn’t like how the photos look so_  
Jonathan speaks a fake promise about  
throwing them away and getting rid  
of the film so he can’t make any copies.

“I know obsession makes love go wrong.” Emerson pushes the pictures back into a single pile. He taps them into place and slides them into the folder.

_Will pulls away from the kiss and_  
maybe Jonathan is scared, but he’s  
swooping in for another before the  
horror can truly settle. It’s all or   
nothing now, Jonathan thinks. And  
he decides he wants as much as he can take.

Jonathan shakes his head. “I’d never kill my brother.” He says.

Emerson sighs. “I would like to believe there’s goodness in all human hearts.” He says. “But when I look at you, son, I know there isn’t.” He slaps the folder shut. “Make this easier on your mother. Confess.”

“I didn’t kill my brother.” He insists.

The door opens. Hopper’s standing there. “His lawyer’s here.” He says.

“He didn’t ask for a lawyer.” Emerson snaps.

“Call me a stickler for rights.” Hopper says. “His lawyer’s here. Get out.”

Emerson scowls and stands up. As he walks out, Jonathan can hear him hiss to Hopper, “You shouldn’t be protecting this kid. He’s no good.”

Jonathan turns his head down and holds himself in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn't post this but I thought, "eh, I need to finish this series off." So!! Finally, Sex Dwarf has ended. I will undoubtedly be writing more Jonathan/Will. Probably in the near future once I finish off some current ongoing projects. My 10k fic yells at me a lot lmao

**Author's Note:**

> jonathan? not a good guy. let's just be honest here. but at least he's nice!!
> 
> The Doll magazine is inspired by the Netherlands' magazine Lolita, which was child pornography which went on for 55 issues (into the 1980's) before finally being shut down. The magazine included ads offering to buy pictures of children and offered bonuses if it'd be allowed for the magazine founder to come and take the photos himself. 
> 
> Jonathan is probably not so much a pedophile, as much as he just craves his little brother. As Will gets older, Jonathan will not stop wanting him sexually. It just seems more like due to Will's current age! But don't get it wrong, it's still not good. So don't fucking come after me like I support the shit. I do not. 
> 
> I might continue this? But I'm not entirely sure yet. my mood got ruined because i spilled coffee over my sweater and i can't get home until tonight so i have to go through the day with it.


End file.
